Not Knowing (Bilmemek, 2019)
A Turkish drama about the things left unsaid.
In a home where words are scarce and feelings even scarcer, young Umut finds himself at the center of quiet suspicions. Rumors about his sexuality swirl through his water polo team, but at home, his parents are too busy being strangers to each other to notice his silent struggle. No accusations, no support — just silence. And sometimes, that’s the loudest kind of violence.
You know those films where no one says anything directly, but you still get the message loud and clear? Yeah — this is one of them. Bilmemek unfolds quietly, without preaching or over-explaining, and somehow manages to wrap an entire family’s silence into 90 minutes — and lets you sit in it with them.
Umut is a teenage water polo player with two parents who barely coexist. His mother Selma is emotionally unraveling, and his father Sinan floats in quiet resignation. Then come the whispers — that Umut might be gay. No one asks. No one says anything. But suddenly, everyone looks at him differently.
“I don’t know what you want me to say. If I say I’m not, they won’t believe me. If I say I am, they’ll never look at me the same.”
And that’s the core of the film — not in shouting or violence, but in the smothering silence of passive homophobia. Umut doesn’t confirm or deny. He doesn’t have to. This isn’t a coming-out story — it’s a story about what happens when no one even bothers to ask where the door is.
The ending? Well… if you like things neatly resolved, this film won’t pat your head and tuck you in. But if you’re into that quiet ache that lingers after the credits, go ahead. Sit with it. Let it whisper.
