9 Dead Gay Guys (2002)

9 Dead Gay Guys (2002)

Director: Lab Ky Mo
Writer: Lab Ky Mo
Genre: Comedy
Country: UK
Year: 2002
Duration: 83 min

Stars: Glen Mulhern, Brendan Mackey and Steven Berkoff

“Devet mrtvih pedera” je film koji je pokušao da od Londonskog gay podzemlja napravi komediju. Zanimljivo zvuči, ali ako budete imali nerava da pogledate ovu “komediju” već nakon dvadesetak minuta shvatićete da je ovo potpuni trash, smeće,film za koji ne postoji dovoljno loša ocjena koja bi oslikala totalni režiserski neuspjeh.
Radi se o dva prijatelja koja sebe deklarišu kao str8 i koji svoju “muku” utapaju u alkoholu. Problem je kako zaraditi novac, a da to ne bude neki mučni osmočasovni posao.  Byron (Brendan Mackey) otkriva način kako lako doći do para. U lokalnom gay baru nije problem odraditi blow job nekom matorom pederu za dvadesetak funti. Naravno to ga ne čini pederom jer to je ipak samo posao kao i svaki drugi. To isto predlaže i svom prijatelju – cimeru Kenny (Glenn Mulhern).
Naravno cimer je zgrožen tom idejom i isprva kaže da bi radije umro gladan na ulici nego tako nešto uradio. Ubrzo shvata kako nije dobra ideja umrijeti smrznut i pijan u nekom gradskom smeću pa prihvata da popuši kurac nekom pederu uz malu nadoknadu. Nesretnik nije baš iskusan u tom poslu pa ga je već prvi peder uspio namamiti u svoj stan, pa dok je shvatio šta se dešava kurac mu je već uletio u bulju.
Nevolja počinje kada shvate da pederi sa kojima odrađuju posao jedan za drugim umiru…
Priča bi se zaista mogla pretvoriti u neku horror komediju da je režiser imalo talentovan…

Mene je podsjetila na prošli vikend. Pošto sam u nekoj takozvanoj “drolja” fazi , odlučim da odem u Podgoricu i dobro se izjebem. Pošteni pederi se ne jebu u svom gradu niti se upoznavaju sa tom “rizičnom skupinom” u svom mjestu, već se druže isključivo sa “normalnim” str8 ljudima. Zato postoje veći gradovi u kojima žive te nezajažljive životinjke koje jedva čekaju nekog “str8” provincijalca ili seljačinu u svom krevetu.
Dogovorim se sa jednim  diskretnim oženjenim likom da se nađemo u iznajmljenom stanu, ali da on plati stan jer je meni jednak trošak doći do Podgorice. Tako i bude, odem, iznajmim stan i eto njega, kad usred seksa počne rukometna utakmica Crna Gora – Srbija. Ja se jadan sve upinjem da vidim utakmicu , a on nesretnik samo hvata trenutak da uvali kurac. Padaju golovi na sve strane.
Srećom pobjedili smo, sutra dan smo postali prvaci evrope.
Kada sam nakon utakmice ostao sam u stanu , na stolu vidim  35 eura. Baš sam se glupo osjećao. Ćovjek platio stan i otišao, a ja ko kurva trpam pare u džep i gledam koga da pozovem da popijemo piće.

Mick LaSalle, Chronicle Movie Critic

“9 Dead Gay Guys” seems to have been intended to be an audacious, fast- paced comedy about the gay underworld in London. But that’s not what’s onscreen. What’s onscreen is a frenetic mess, abysmally directed and without a scrap of truth in the writing or acting. If garbage could think, it would look down on “9 Dead Gay Guys” as garbage.
It’s about two young Irish fellows, self-identified as straight, who are trying to finance their alcoholism without resorting to gainful employment. Byron (Brendan Mackey) stumbles onto a sure source of revenue — performing sex acts on aging men at the local gay bar — and he talks Kenny (Glenn Mulhern) into doing the same. Does this sound funny? Is it zany yet? Then they notice that their male johns keep dropping dead. What could it mean?
After 20 minutes, only two of the nine victims have gone to their reward, and a grim inexorability sets in. Seven more. Now six more. Now five more … Director Lab Ky Mo apes the fast-paced style of Guy Ritchie (imagine actually wanting to imitate the man who made “Swept Away”), but for all the quick cuts and flashbacks, the film is dreadfully slow, consisting mainly of long expository passages in which one character explains some aspect of plot to another.
The director doesn’t have the first clue as how to elicit a performance or even how to move actors within a set. Most of the time, people just stand there or mill around aimlessly.
Even with that, Lab Ky Mo manages to eclipse his directorial ineptitude with his utter helplessness as a writer. His film is an amalgam of plot strains — strain is a good word — involving a gay Hasidic Jew with money hidden in his apartment, a sexually frustrated dwarf and other supposedly colorful characters.
The filmmaker claims that all the characters in “9 Dead Gay Guys” are based on — get this — people whom a friend of his actually knows. That’s exactly what this movie seems like: a bunch of disparate real-life elements sewn together into a nonsense plot by someone who has no firsthand knowledge of what he’s talking about. .
Advisory: Lots of sex talk, sex situations and strong language.