"Parting Glances" (1986) is a landmark in LGBTQ+ cinema, offering an intimate snapshot of gay life during the height of the AIDS crisis. Written and directed by Bill Sherwood, the film stands out for its heartfelt storytelling, nuanced characterizations, and cultural significance.
A Different Kind of 80s Gay Film
When people talk about queer cinema in the 1980s, the first thing that usually comes to mind is tragedy: fear of AIDS, discrimination, and stories drenched in hopelessness. Parting Glances (1986) breaks away from that pattern. Instead of melodrama, Bill Sherwood gives us a witty, intimate, and very human portrait of gay life in New York City.
The film follows Michael and Robert, a couple at a crossroads. Robert has accepted a job in Africa and is about to leave for two years, while Michael stays behind. This separation alone would be enough for a relationship drama, but Sherwood adds another dimension: Michael’s deep friendship with his ex-boyfriend Nick (Steve Buscemi, in a breakout role), who is living with AIDS.
More Than Just a Love Triangle
It would be easy to frame the story as a simple love triangle — Michael caught between his partner Robert and his ex, Nick. But Parting Glances is not about jealousy or rivalry. It’s about emotional loyalty, about the ways love changes shape but doesn’t disappear.
Michael still cares for Nick, not romantically but as family. Robert struggles with this, not because he is threatened, but because he doesn’t know how to deal with illness and vulnerability. That tension — between intimacy and avoidance — defines the couple’s dynamic.
One of the most powerful confrontations comes when Michael accuses Robert of leaving not for career reasons, but to avoid being present as Nick’s health declines. It’s not just an argument; it’s a gut-punch reminder of how AIDS forced people to face uncomfortable truths about love, commitment, and fear.
Nick: The Beating Heart of the Film
And then, of course, there’s Nick. Steve Buscemi steals the movie in his first major film role, delivering a performance that is equal parts sarcastic, tender, and heartbreaking.
Nick is sick, but Sherwood refuses to reduce him to a tragic figure. He’s funny, biting, and alive — always ready with a joke, even when it’s dark. At one point he shrugs off mortality with the line:
“It’s true what they say. The good die young. I’ll probably live to be about 150.”
It’s gallows humor, yes, but it’s also resilience. Nick laughs at death because he refuses to let it define him.
A Community in Motion
What makes Parting Glances feel so authentic is the sense of community. The film doesn’t just show one couple in isolation; it drops us into a social world of friends, parties, arguments, and flirtations. The characters gather around dinner tables, gossip in cramped apartments, and tease one another with warmth and cruelty in equal measure.
Sherwood captures the everyday texture of gay New York: the jokes that hide fear, the friendships that feel like family, and the quiet solidarity in the face of uncertainty. These moments matter as much as the central love story.
AIDS Without Exploitation
In 1986, AIDS was already a devastating crisis, but mainstream cinema rarely addressed it. When it did, it often reduced it to tear-jerker clichés. Parting Glances stands out because it doesn’t exploit the epidemic.
AIDS is there, always in the background, shaping the characters’ choices and anxieties — but Sherwood treats it as part of life, not the whole story. Nick is more than his diagnosis. He is a friend, a musician, a joker, and someone who demands to be seen fully, not pitied.
That subtlety is what makes the film so radical. It portrays gay men as complex human beings, not victims or villains.
New York as a Character
Another element that gives the film its charm is its setting. New York City is more than a backdrop — it’s part of the story. The apartments are small, the streets noisy, the parties crowded and chaotic. Everything feels authentic, almost documentary-like.
The low-budget cinematography actually adds to this feeling. The grainy images and cramped interiors make the movie intimate, as if we’re eavesdropping on real lives rather than watching something staged.
Bill Sherwood’s Only Film
There’s a bittersweet layer to Parting Glances that has nothing to do with its story: it was the only feature Bill Sherwood ever directed. He died of AIDS in 1990, just a few years after the film’s release.
That fact gives the movie a sense of urgency and permanence. This wasn’t just another indie film of the 80s; it was Sherwood’s one chance to capture the world he knew, and he did it with honesty and compassion.
Why the Film Still Matters
- Representation: One of the first American films to show gay men as real people with humor, flaws, and love lives.
- History: A snapshot of how the community lived during the early AIDS crisis — not just suffering, but laughing, loving, and surviving.
- Performance: Steve Buscemi’s Nick is unforgettable, a character who embodies both pain and vitality.
- Tone: It avoids melodrama, preferring wit and intimacy.
Most importantly, it reminds us that even in dark times, people sought connection, humor, and joy.
One Last Glance
Parting Glances is not a loud film. It doesn’t try to shock or preach. Instead, it whispers — and those whispers stay with you long after the credits roll.
It’s a love story, yes, but not just between Michael and Robert. It’s about the love between friends, the chosen families we build, and the resilience of a community facing unimaginable loss.
If you want to understand queer cinema — or simply watch a film that balances humor and heartbreak with grace — Parting Glances is a perfect place to start.
